and so it begins
So this year my son will begin his career in team sports. He signed up for 6-year-old T-ball and I am cautiously optimistic that this will be a good experience for him. I am not sure how much he will love the team sports world; he may be better suited for golf, but that is another story. His coach is a great guy that I know from campus and I believe that he will facilitate a positive overall experience. My greatest concern is that they are the Nationals.
WTF? The Nationals? Is there a MLB franchise that has a greater stink/taint than the one in DC? George W. Bush threw out the first pitch. They have only 1 postseason trip in their 40 year history: strike shortened 1981. That’s it, that’s all. Their country gave them up and sent them to Washington. They didn’t even choose the logical name of Washington Senators that has a history in the area. They chose a “patriotic” name while deep in the Bush Administration’s bastardization of America.
Anyways, I was dismayed at the notion that my team will play on a team with the name of one of the worst franchises ever. I mean I played on the Dillard Demons and Winston Warriors. Mildly alliterative, but at least they reflected the area. In Corvallis we must choose MLB franchise names, I guess, so here is my list of mascots I would have preferred:
1. Cubs… clearly would have been #1. Vince would have had mad gear and I would have been well dressed at every game…. in fact the whole fam would look sharp.
2. Dodgers… a great franchise… Vin Scully, Kirk Gibson, Fernando, Orel, Tommy Lasorda, Fat Pedro Guerrero, Mike Piazza’s jhericurl. They are my dad’s team and my #2.
3. Mariners… might be hard to get around here given the proximity and how many local kids have grown up watching M’s games. Thankfully they were so awful when I was impressionable.
4. Pirates… Sure they suck but kids like Pirates
and
5. Tigers
and
6. Diamondbacks.
7. Yankees would be better than Nats, but thankfully I wouldn’t be forced to yell “Go Yankees”. It has been 38 years of not combining those words. I would like to keep that streak alive.
8. Brewers… Not good for the kids; great for me.
9/10. SOX… White and Red. Either is fine for a group of kids who can’t even tie their own shoes.
11. Devil Rays… If it weren’t for Finding Nemo, would he like a Ray?
12. Giants… perfectly suitable, but may need HGH tests forever after Bonds.
13/14/15 Bird teams Orioles, Blue Jays and Cardinals. I find birds dirty, but kids like them.
16. Angels…Would be just fine except that I played on a team called the Demons when I was a kid. No need to remind me that he and I are a little different.
17. Marlins. Fine name. They wear teal which is nowhere near fine which reminds me that
Purple has no place on a baseball field for #18 Rockies.
19/20/21. Reds, Indians and Braves….mmmmm no. Certainly not in PC Corvallis.
22. Twins… too split personalityie
23. Rangers… I suppose this could be higher on the list. They are so forgettable that I only just now thought of them.
24. Padres… Um… the logo of the bald priest in the robe creeps me out. A lot.
25. Royals… Never been an Anglophile.
26/27. Just flat stupid names: Phillies and Mets
28. A’s I am still too sophmoric to “support” a team called the ”Athletics”… Jocks. huh huh
29. Astros. I am not even sure why a team that was named after their previous buildiing is still named Astros. Shouldn’t they be called Minute Maids now?
and 30. Nationals. I am no Patriot and will never be accused of anything like it.
